Chart Attack – KYLE FROM INCANTATION HAS A MOUSTACHE

Chart Attack is something that was started a couple of years ago by Duncan Greive at Real Groove before being handed off to Hussein Moses. It’s a weekly column dedicated to assessing the comings and goings in the New Zealand top 40 charts and it’s now rightfully back in Duncan’s capable hands. We’re proud to announce then, that The Corner will be posting the column every Thursday before you see it in Groove Guide the following week. Take a look at this weeks column and let us know what you think of it in the comments section below.

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As predicted in last week’s column Avalanche City’s new single ‘You Are An Interior Decorator’ topped the charts. If you don’t like that song your options are A) move to a country which has its own version of Hootie, like America. B) Kill all or part of your family (life expectancy of Avalanche City fans in prison is seven hours) C) Microwave your face. Otherwise it’s six months of this sappy shit everywhere you go.

Great. So how’s the new Britney, bitch?

The once and future Ms Federline (I hope – those guys were so cute together!) is in at nine with ‘Windchimes Are Gay’. It’s actually pretty good – I guess the title’s kind of intense, given recent events, but it has that glassy-eyed momentum which has characterised her best moments. B+.

Yeah yeah yeah. How about Jay Sean & Lil Wayne?

GREAT question. When that pair last got together on ‘Ha Ha, Your Wife Left You’, we all just fell in love. Sweet hook, killer Weezy F verses (Plural! Bonus!) and lodging firmly in that sweet spot where everyone from backpack hip hop dudes (you still exist, right?) to accountants on the rage bumped to it. They re-unite with ‘You Look Adopted’, still slick as all hell, but too vapid in that recent Usher way. Even Wayne sounds like he’s a little embarrassed. C-

Ladi6 has a new single too right?

Yep. And as soon as the beat kicks in you know that someone still loves backpack hip hop. Kidding! Gosh! Seriously folks, the song is called ‘Recycling Is Gay’, and has this kind of off-balance staggering feel to its production which starts off quite conventional before piling on new layers and effects until it’s emerged from the rabbit hole somewhere entirely different. Reminds me of Janelle Monae in that new-take-on-’70s-psych-funk way, and that’s good for any music, let alone a chart single. A+

Chart Attack will be featured in next week’s Groove Guide, out Wednesday. GG is a free, weekly streetzine and you can pick it up from a number of spots around the country or simply visit grooveguide.co.nz for daily updates.